i went to puri yesterday with my friends and it was breathtaking. a week ago me and him were planning to go and watch a movie but bcos we've been quarelling a few days ago so we haven't had informed each other about our plan so i thought we wouldn't met. it was around three when we were at gramedia. and hey, i saw him.

i can now see everything

falling to pieces before my eyes

it was really great and gratifying to get him around yesterday. i know i was kinda creepy when i was passing him and i looked back a few times to look what was he doing there, so i decided to call or text him but i just noticed that i had left my phone back in the car.

so it was about seven when me and my friends went to starbucks to get something to drink. they asked me if i choosed sitting inside or outside the cafe, so i told them to take a seat outside because the wind is usually cold around seven or eight. after a while, if i wasn't mistaken, i noticed someone looking at me in the distance. him again.

if i, if i have been unkind,

i hope that you can just let it go by.

if i, if i have been untrue,

i hope you know it was never to you.

it's not you, it's me.

these are the most dreaded words spoken in any relationship. if you hear them, or if you find yourself wanting to say them, you can be pretty sure it's over. a soft landing is being prepared, but the end result is not in question. whoever offers this duplicitous explanation on the way out may not be sure of what they want exactly, but they are sure of what they don't want-you.

Hahaha

keep the change

holding on to someone you know you have to let go of isn't just a way to delay the inevitable for them, but for yourself as well. it protects you from having to make the transition you are about to impose until you are good and ready. like canceling on an out-of-town guest you've been longing to see, but never quite had the time to plan for, it is the convenient, easy way out-for you.

they call it falling for someone for a reason. like some silent movie banana peel, love can trip you up and bring you down flat on your back when you least expect it. either you will bounce right up, undaunted, or become paralyzed. either way, you will carry the reminder of it forever. whether it leaves a tiny scar or a permanent injury, only the future can tell.

i was feeling insecure you might not love me anymore.

we don't miss what we never had, but we miss terribly things we almost had. and we miss things we used to have most of all. though we hope and pray for our relationships, our looks, and our lives to improve, having more also means having more to lose.

Fyi .

you can only get outside by looking inside. some people are in constant fear that their heart might cease between beats, feeling each pulse as a countdown to the end and rather than a vital sign of life. others are barely aware that they even have a heart beating inside them, moving through the day unecumbered by the complexity of their inner workings. worry may not change the outcome, but it definitely affects your outlook. better to care too much than too little?

if you can't say something nice, lie. words not only help us express emotion, they distance us from it as well. they can be useful safety net, protecting your heart from overexposure, parceling out your true feelings in carefully crafted syllables rather than gushing sincerity. they can also be misinterpreted, doing damage by creating an impression in someone else's mind that wasn't intended. sometimes, things really are better left unsaid.

hope against hope.
most hope is false if you think about it. it's a belief that an outcome will be positive despite evidence to the contrary. but where would we be without it? it's the mind's compass and the heart's buoy, which we cling to as we wait for help to arrive. without hope, life is sink or swim.